If you’ve never been close to someone who has a mental health disorder, it can be difficult to know how to help a depressed spouse or partner. The good news is that you don’t have to have any formal training to make a world of difference in your loved one’s life.
Signs Your Spouse or Partner Is Depressed
Before you can decide how to help a depressed spouse or partner, it can be important to review the common signs and symptoms of depression.
Depression is one of the most common mental health disorders in the United States. According to the National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH), 8.3% of US adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2021.
However, the only way to know for sure if your loved one has a depressive disorder is for them to be evaluated by your family doctor or another expert.
If you have noticed behaviors like the following, it may be time to schedule that evaluation:
- They have been sleeping either way too much (hypersomnia) or hardly at all (insomnia).
- No matter how much sleep they get, they struggle with fatigue and exhaustion.
- Their appetite has changed considerably. As with their abnormal sleep patterns, this can include eating much more or much less than usual.
- They’ve stopped participating in sports, hobbies, or other activities that they used to enjoy.
- They have strong emotional reactions to seemingly minor setbacks or inconveniences.
- They go days at a time without showering, brushing their teeth, combing their hair, or performing other basic tasks related to their appearance and personal hygiene.
- Their use of alcohol or other substances has increased.
- They speak very poorly of themselves, such as claiming that they have no talent, they’re worthless, or they don’t deserve good things.
- They have difficulty accepting compliments.
- They seem to be unwilling or unable to engage in physical intimacy.
- They tell you that you would be better off without them.
None of these signs are definitive proof that someone has a depressive disorder. But anyone who exhibits these types of behaviors may have depression or another mental health condition, and they should be assessed by a qualified healthcare provider.
[Recommended: “Symptoms of High-Functioning Depression“]
How to Help a Depressed Spouse or Partner
Here are 10 suggestions for ways to support your spouse or partner while they are dealing with depression:
1: Educate Yourself
Just by reading this post, you’ve already begun to do this. Learning about depression can give you a greater understanding of what your spouse or partner is going through. Your research can also help you explore treatment options so that when your loved one is ready to get help, you can find the programming that’s best for them.
2: Let Them Know You Care
Depression can make you feel like you’re not worthy of love, support, or even friendship. You don’t have to overdo things by making extravagant shows of affection, especially if this isn’t your normal style, as it could unintentionally make your spouse or partner more self-conscious. But it’s never a bad idea to remind them (via both your words and your actions) how much you truly value and appreciate them.
3: Listen to Them
Make sure that your spouse or partner knows they can always talk to you about their mental health struggles, and that you will listen to them without judgment or criticism. In addition to giving you valuable insights into their state of mind, providing them with a safe space to express what they’ve been feeling can be a perfect way of reinforcing your love and support.
4: Encourage Them to Get Help
Depression isn’t a bad mood or a case of the blues. It is a serious, but thankfully treatable, mental health disorder. The best way for your spouse or partner to experience relief from their symptoms is to seek professional care. There is no single approach that’s perfect for everyone, which is why your research into treatment options (and your understanding of your spouse) can be so important.
5: Give Them Their Space
Sometimes, people who have depression need to spend some time by themselves. If your spouse or partner needs to spend a few hours (or a day) reading, zoning out in front of the TV, or otherwise being by themselves, that doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or they don’t want to be around you. It just means they’re having trouble summoning the energy to interact with anyone.
6: Avoid Isolation
No, this tip doesn’t contradict the previous one. Spending some time apart is both normal and healthy. But you need to be sure that you and your spouse or partner aren’t becoming isolated from each other, or from the world around you. Make a point to keep in touch with friends and trusted family members, both for your loved one’s mental well-being and your own.
7: Establish Boundaries
Depressive disorders can cause people to become irritable and easily frustrated, which can lead to sudden outbursts of anger. Work with your spouse or partner to discuss these emotions and establish what types of behaviors are unacceptable. Depression is not an excuse for someone to become verbally or physically abusive.
8: Set Realistic Expectations
With the right treatment, effort, and support, your spouse or partner can learn to manage their symptoms and take greater control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. However, this takes time. Simply getting them to enroll in treatment can be a great success – but don’t expect an immediate, dramatic turnaround.
9: Take Care of Yourself
Part of knowing how to care for a depressed spouse or partner is realizing that you need to take care of yourself, too. Don’t allow your focus on your loved one to cause you to neglect your own physical and mental health. Make sure you continue to eat well, exercise regularly, and (as we mentioned earlier) spend time with your friends and other loved ones.
10: Talk to a Professional
It’s not a bad idea to think about making an appointment with a professional yourself. Speaking with a therapist or counselor – either alone or in the context of a family session – can help you process your experiences, learn how to better support your loved one, and safeguard your own mental health.
[Recommended: “How to Develop a Safety Plan for a Mental Health Crisis“]
Learn More About Depression Treatment in Atlanta
If you are looking for comprehensive depression treatment in Atlanta, Peachtree Wellness Solutions is here to help.
We offer a full continuum of personalized services, including residential care and several outpatient programs, to help adults who have been living with depression and other mental health concerns. We also provide dual diagnosis programming for patients whose struggles with depression are accompanied by co-occurring addictions.
At our center, our team of skilled and compassionate professionals will help your depressed spouse. We’ll work closely with your loved one to understand how they have been affected by depression, and then we’ll develop a customized plan to address their needs and put them on the path toward a healthier future.
To learn more or to schedule a free assessment, please visit our Admissions page or call us today.
